Todays Funny* My Deepest Apology*
Over the past few weeks I have received many funny images/jokes and have
emailed them to friends who i thought shared the same sense of humor.
Unfortunately, I seemed to have upset a few people and received criticism
for being sexist and shallow
So, from now on I am only E-mailing pictures of old monuments, nature and
other cultural sights which are educational for your mind.
Here is a picture of the Pont Neuf Bridge in Toulouse, France.
Courtesy of Wanda
This archive...
I had a great time this weekend !
Friday
Fridays are half-days, and Wanda and I went to the outlet mall on Ga. 400.
It was a bit depressing trying on different clothes, even though the ones
I thought were my size ( huge ) were actually that - huge, and were way too
big for me. The trousers/pants had this huge poof in the front, I guess to
allow for the extra rolls of skin one might have.
They succeeded in making me appear as if I were on the Discovery Channel, "Woman with the 200 lb. tumor".
The pants that fit relatively well around the ass and waist were
designed with 'cankle' gals in mind - the legs were as wide as the waist was.
I looked like I was wearing a dress. I have a feeling the clothes weren't marked
for the correct size. I know designers do this, but I wasted time trying
on size 18s, when I'm clearly a size 16 now, even though my closet is full of
size 16' that haven't fit me in 8 years. I've packed on another 20 lbs since
then, but miraculously I can fit into a sixteen now. Uh-huh.
She also talked me into trying some form of bustier, or a camisole with a
built-in bra thingy, which I did, even knowing I would never wear something
like that, and I ended up trapping myself in it when I tried to take it off.
My left arm's hurting lately, so it was useless in the fight to remove this
article of clothing. I had it bunched up to my chin and it wasn't budging,
It wouldn't even go back the ways, and for a horrified second I pictured myself
leaving the dressing room in search of help from Wanda, whilst horrified shoppers
looked on. Finally it moved and I was able extracate myself, but it was a
close call !
Anyway, We ate lunch and walked around, talking, and I really enjoyed the afternoon.
Saturday
Jay actually took vacation day so we could head up to Wendys' house and go for
a hike with her and Donna. Yes, I said hike. Apparently Jay had told his mother the
night before what we were about to do, and she said ,"Heather? Heather's going to
be hiking, too?" I know it's hard to believe. Even I can't believe it. I had
already envisioned the trouble I was going to be in, but I didn't back out. I
tried, believe me, but the three of them cajoled, begged and then finally
threatened, and I made it. I made the summit ! Yay !
I think the name of the 'hill' is "Long Mountain", but I'm not sure.
It was a really lovely day. The weather was perfect. The views, all of them, were
fantastic. All the leaves ( yes, they're still in the trees !) were full of color.
Jays' dad will be happy to know he's not the only one to fall in the fall. I
slipped backwards and landed gracefully on my ample buttocks on the way down
the mountain, calling out " Man down !" I didn't hurt myself, just my dignity.
On the way to and from the mountain we crossed a cow pasture, and had to climb
over a barbed wire fence using a rickety, swaying step ladder contraption.
Wendy had told me about it the day before, but I must confess, I was picturing
a proper stile, like they have in Englands' pastures. Not this torture device.
On these steps you were waving away madly like a flag on a storm, trying to step
ON the wires while you manuevered your body up and over the fence, jerking back
and forth like an epilectic . I would say I wasn't surprised someone got hurt -
that person got a barb in their hand, I'm just surprised it wasn't me.
Another funny aspect is wearing these bright orange vests, because it is deer
hunting season, and we wouldn't want get shot, would we ? I think the vest just
make us a better target for those " Wrong Turn" folks, but that's just me, I think...
After we got back, we hung out and Donna fed us some incedible chili - it was delish.
Donna reminded me to take motrin before going to bed, I thought I'd still hurt
worse than I do. I really don't feel that bad, after all !
It was a great day, all in all !
This archive...
